Author: Silvia Romao

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Simple is not simplistic

How slow living increased the quality of my days

From the moment we wake up until we fall asleep again, we are bombarded by an overwhelming amount of stimuli. There’s too much information competing for our attention. Between the moment we fall asleep and wake up the next day, we increasingly live with the feeling of being in a constant race of hyperstimulation.

That’s how I’ve felt lately, unfocused and exhausted unable to pinpoint exactly why. Rationally, I couldn’t see any reason for this discomfort. After all, more than fifteen years ago, after a burnout that led me to rethink my lifestyle, I discovered meditation and began practicing Chi Kung. Over time, I gained tools that allowed me to adopt a simple, slow-paced routine, balanced between moments of work and rest.

But lately, these practices have felt more like a cure-all than the sense of balance, well-being, and purpose they used to bring. Yes, I have never abandoned the core practice of meditation, but the rest of my day has been filled with constant noise, information, restlessness, and movement.

I still believe that stimulation is positive. However, in an era where we are bombarded with so much information, it is vital to understand how we can find balance. That’s why this summer, after reaching a peak of physical and mental exhaustion, I took a few days to rest and redefine my priorities.

I found the perfect place for this break on the Alentejo coast, in a little wooden house surrounded by trees and silence, with a weak internet connection but a strong connection to the sounds of nature. I savored this time slowly, took deep breaths, and prepared for the new work period. As September arrived, I felt more aligned and ready to get back on the path that makes sense to me.

I returned to my daily routine with three fundamental decisions, aligned with the desire to break the cycle of constant stimulation that distracts me and robs me of my creativity:

Doing a non-radical digital detox

When I opted to embrace a simpler lifestyle, I did a “Low Buy Challenge.” The idea is to commit to reducing the purchase of non-essential goods. For example, one of the rules I set for myself was to buy no more than three items of clothing per season. Another was to eat out only twice a month. Another still was to give up manicure. Each person can define which non-essential goods they are willing to reduce and set limits they find reasonable. This model helped me reflect and change my consumption habits so much that I replicated it in my relationship with technology and online time. For a non-radical digital detox, I predefine a period when I use technology more consciously. These time frames bring me clarity about how I feel when I don’t give in to the impulse of social media, emails, news, and notifications. Each person can set the rules that best suit their reality and comfort level, but the goal is always to reduce online time. It could be a morning without technology, muting app notifications on your phone, or setting aside an entire day without a digital connection. There is no right or wrong, just the reasonable measure for each individual. In my case, I realized that both my computer and phone are major sources of stimuli and manipulators of my attention. Since adopting the simple rule “disconnected after 8 p.m.” I’ve regained regular reading habits and started small hobbies again, like crochet and origami, which had gradually lost space to technology without me even noticing.

Paying attention to what I am doing, one task at a time

Whenever I’m involved in activities like cleaning the house, cooking, driving, exercising, or eating, I seek some kind of mental entertainment. It could be things like a movie or series, a podcast, an audiobook, or a concert. I imagine I’m not the only one who does this, and apparently, it’s harmless. But I started noticing that every time I prepared to cook, walk, or brush my teeth, the first thing I did was reach for my phone and choose what to listen to during the task. A little while ago, as I was preparing for a drive from Lisbon to Montemor-o-Novo, I realized this might not be as straightforward as it seems. It had been an intense day of work, meetings, and various stimuli in the capital, and I was eager to return to the tranquility of Alentejo, where I live. However, I found myself sitting in the car for more than 10 minutes, scrolling through the podcast list, unable to decide which one to listen to during the drive. In 10 minutes, I could have already crossed the bridge and been a bit closer to my goal: getting home and relaxing. I asked myself why I needed to be constantly surrounded by sounds. Yes, apparently it’s just a way to keep myself entertained, but at that moment, I felt it was more harmful than beneficial. On such a full day, it seemed to me that all the content I had absorbed throughout different moments was turning into a shapeless cloud of voices and sounds in my head. I chose to drive in silence and let my mind wander wherever it wanted. It was on that trip that the idea for this article emerged! I wrote the entire piece in my head during those sixty minutes of driving.

Decluttering, organizing, and simplifying the home

We may be more or less aware of it, but we are constantly absorbing so much information throughout our days that we often feel overwhelmed without even knowing why. That’s why what we find at home is so important. Especially for those like me, who have an introverted personality and are highly sensitive to stimuli. I tend to feel everything around me more intensely and deeply than most people. So, I really need to be intentional and selective about what I expose myself to, in order not to feel drained. Yes, I know that many times it’s something we can’t exactly choose, whether it’s due to work-related issues or obligations we need to fulfill. But we can create a calm and relaxing environment in our homes. Right now, I live in a sort of “house between houses” as I build the path toward moving to a home even more immersed in nature. This temporary living situation has helped me reflect and practice the process of simplifying and decluttering. Consequently, I have come to realize how important it is for what surrounds me to bring me peace of mind, comfort, and security.

Promoting personal well-being is an individual responsibility. It’s neither as simple as reading an article online or watching a YouTube video nor as complicated as the self-development programs of new influencers, Instagrammable detox retreats, or restrictive diets with so-called superfoods.

My process is to ensure balance through a simple, slow-paced lifestyle. When I have a lot of professional demands, I need moments of solitude, silence, and contemplation. In times of greater busyness, I organize my days without forgetting moments of pause. If I’ve spent the whole day staring at a computer, I don’t finish it without a walk among the trees. If I’m going through a period of heavy social interaction, I know I’ll need to set aside a day to become a hermit.

Of course, I need stimuli in my life, just like everyone else. We all need to be in contact with new ideas, different people, different places, new perspectives. But it’s equally important to understand when it’s too much and know what to do to recover. Because life is meant for us to be well, as many hours as possible.

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Water Over Stone

There are times when I visit a place so beautiful and have such wonderful experiences there that can’t wait to return and write all about it. These are places that offer me such special moments and I can’t wait to sit down and start crafting a story around that adventure.

“Wow!” I think, “So many metaphors, so many thoughts, and so many parallels with life can be drawn from this as I share the story of this place.” But when the time to sit at the computer comes and I open the text editor, no ideas come to mind. I try to write a sentence or two, and nothing seems good enough. No writing path opens up. No matter how hard I try, it’s a succession of writing and deleting that tests my patience and makes me angry with myself, questioning if writing is really what I want to keep doing.

This is exactly what I’ve been experiencing these past few days, returning from a trip to Foz do Cobrão, a village in the municipality of Mação, in the heart of Beira Baixa. This village is nestled between two watercourses (the Cobrão stream and the Ocreza River) and is a very special place. It was a wonderful visit, but now that I so badly want to write about it, I’m blocked, and nothing that comes from this dance of my fingers on the keyboard seems good enough to honor it. I write and delete, write and delete, growing increasingly frustrated with myself. If writing and storytelling are my passion (which they are!), this shouldn’t be happening to me.

I so much want to talk about the huge boulder that forced the Cobrão stream to find ways to continue its course and, despite that enormous and intimidating obstacle, manage to fulfill its purpose of flowing into the Ocreza River. What a perfect natural metaphor for describing life: a small and unassuming stream that, on its descent down the slopes of Serra das Talhadas, encountered a huge stone right in the middle of its bed. But instead of being intimidated, it persisted. Gathering all the resources that make water one of nature’s most resilient elements, it managed, with gentleness, to circumvent the imposing obstacle. Over the years, the seemingly insurmountable stone was shaped by the water’s persistence. This natural phenomenon gave rise to such a peculiar place that it became stunningly beautiful. But my writing today doesn’t flow like the water. It’s stuck behind the boulder of frustration that grows with my writer’s block.

It frustrates me to know it should be easy to let my imagination flow and write another story about how that rare natural phenomenon has captivated the Romans who settled there during their occupation of the Iberian Peninsula. Isn’t that a perfect starting point for developing a narrative about the obstacles life places in our path, the challenges it throws at us, the stones it puts in our way, and how sometimes we don’t have to destroy or overcome them because, with patience and flexibility, they ultimately reveal immense wealth and value in building our purpose?

But no, the pages is still blank. Nothing I write honors the beauty of that place and the surprising history of its early inhabitants. Because there’s more: the Romans, shortly after arriving, deceived by the lush forest and abundant water, quickly discovered that the land wasn’t that fertile for cultivation. Yet, like the water that circumvented the stone, they chose to stay and explore the potential of that seemingly magical place further. Thankfully, they did because the stream indeed hid a precious secret. A secret that needed someone with time and patience to uncover. Small gold particles traveled along the Cobrão stream. It was a contemplative gaze and a prolonged, focused observation that allowed the discovery of this treasure. A treasure that became the reason for the population to not only settle permanently but also to flourish.

Even today, it’s possible to see the “Conheiras” – formed by hundreds of rolled stones resulting from the soil washing for gold extraction – along its course, just a stone’s throw from the village, confirming the gold panning activity in that location over the centuries. What are the odds of such an activity existing in the almost forgotten interior of Portugal and lasting until the first half of the 20th century when gold finally became scarce? But today, I can’t turn this into a beautiful and captivating story.

The highlight of my day was when, while walking through the village streets, I encountered a lady holding a dog on a leash in one hand and a shopping bag in the other. It seemed she was waiting for me to share her story, as beautiful as all the metaphors the village had given me up to that point.

Mrs. Aurora (I call her that because I don’t know her name) approached me, intrigued by my solitary presence in such an unlikely place for an outsider to visit. When I explained that I love to explore precisely unlikely places and write about them, she decided to accompany me on my short walk and tell me how she ended up there.

This charming lady was born and spent her childhood in Foz do Cobrão. She moved to Lisbon in her youth and stayed there, got married, and had a daughter. Despite her life taking root in the capital, deep down, Mrs. Aurora harbored a secret wish to return to her village after retirement and spend her final days in that beautiful yet remote place. She never dared to mention this dream to her husband, daughter, or grandson because the more years passed and their lives solidified in the big city, the more unlikely it seemed to achieve it.

It was precisely her grandson, on a trip to his grandmother’s village during the school holidays, who, upon passing by the village school, said to his mother:

“This is beautiful! This is the school I would like to attend.”

This remark from her son occupied the mother’s mind throughout the return journey to Lisbon. Thanks to the pandemic, she was now working remotely and, on first consideration, found no reason not to fulfill her son’s wish, who was attending a school in Amadora where he faced increasing challenges both academically and socially.

In less than a month, they completed the transfer process for the boy, and the move to the village was done. She brought her parents with her. Mrs. Aurora not only fulfilled her dream of returning to her village but did so accompanied by her entire family. It was a smooth, natural process of redirecting the course of their lives, just like that stream. She ended her story by telling me that since being there for almost a year, not only did her grandson start enjoying school more and getting better grades, but her back pains also improved from all the exercise of walking up and down those cobblestone streets.

“Come and live, too!” she told me before we said goodbye. And I, in my eternal quest for a place to feel at home, whispered to myself:

“Who knows?”

For now, I choose to be inundated by the wisdom of the water and, gently and kindly to myself, allow my fingers to navigate the keyboard, without judging what comes out. And here is the text that finally sprouted out.

What was the lesson learned? I learned that sometimes the biggest boulder we have to overcome is the one we carry within ourselves.

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When Plans Fail

The best plans are those that start off seemingly failed only to lead to incredible experiences that would otherwise have been lost. I drew this conclusion from the weekend I had organized to participate in an activity in a remote village somewhere in Serra da Estrela, a place I really wanted to go. I didn’t reach Serra da Estrela, nor did I participate in the activity, but I was welcomed by a very unlikely place that offered me the one thing I, unknowingly, really needed: peace of mind.

The week began with an invitation from the Parish Council of a small village in Serra da Estrela to participate in and write about the re-enactment of an ancestral activity, a way to preserve the knowledge of yesteryear and pass it on to the younger generation. This is the kind of work I love, where I anticipate talking to the elders and having the opportunity to gather countless stories and knowledge from the past. However, in the middle of the week, I received a message informing me that the activity would be postponed. My visit on that date no longer made sense.

In the meantime, I had already mapped out – and started – a two-day route to get there, with stops at other places I also wanted to visit. I usually take advantage of my work trips to organize small road trips and discover little secrets from my “wish to visit” list in the interior of Portugal.

Instead of feeling discouraged or thinking about giving up, I embraced the unexpected as an invitation to slow down, reduce the number of kilometers, and spend more time in the places I had only planned to pass through. I now had the best ingredients to let myself be dazzled: time and unpredictability.

I arrived at my first stop earlier than expected and, instead of settling in and preparing for a restful evening, I left the car, the backpack, the external demands, the shoes, and, barefoot, I started walking along the path, beginning right in front of the door of the little house that would be my shelter for the night.

Pracana Cimeira, in the municipality of Mação, in the heart of Beira Baixa, has a population of seven inhabitants. The paved road ends at the last house in the village, and all you can hear are the birds, the rustling of tree branches when the wind passes, and the water flowing abundantly from the village’s two fountains and the stream that invites us for a swim.

In places like this, when external noise quiets down, the internal volume of what inhabits the mind tends to increase. The previous week had been one of much anxiety and worry. Of course that all of it came to the surface as I walked alone, surrounded by silence. At first, I was angry with myself for being in such a privileged place and, instead of enjoying it, letting myself be overwhelmed by a succession of stories and worries. Then, forcing myself to take a few deeper breaths, I decided that, instead of following the flood of drama my head tends to create, I would take the opportunity to do an internal purge and leave behind all those mental habits that weren’t helping me move forward.

As I moved further into the mountains, I practiced the exercise of, instead of following my mind into catastrophic future imaginations, choosing to feel my feet touching the ground with each step, becoming aware of my body’s weight sinking into the earth, and listening carefully to the sound of each of the dozens of birds that passed by me. I recalled one of the many lessons from my meditation practice: we can always choose where to place our best attention.

By giving it time and allowing myself space, nature always has the power to calm me down. The natural and wild world, where everything is present, everything is now, and nothing exists beyond the current moment, reminds me that the future I create in my imagination is just that: imagination! And that I have the great gift of being able to imagine (and, consequently, create) different scenarios much more aligned with what I dream for my future. The good news is that this is a gift common to all human beings.

The next day I woke up early as usual, and, breathing in that earthy, green scent, the last thing I wanted to do was leave. Before departing, I promised myself to return later this summer. Then I headed to another magical stop where, thanks to the cancellation that offered me more time to slow down, I encountered an elderly lady with a wonderful life story, I had the privilege to hear.

I’ll leave it for the next post!

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I love you, so farewell for now

Lisboa. Contemplar o Tejo

Despite choosing a semi-nomadic lifestyle, living constantly between travels in recent years, the intervals when I returned to Lisbon were filled with the joy. Joy of being close to my roots, in a beautiful city with its unique light and coziness, and home to some of the people I love the most in the world. I particularly remember the years I worked in the UK and the good feeling growing inside me whenever the time to travel back to Portugal for holidays or a long weekend was approaching.

In the aftermath of the pandemic, during one of these returns, when I realized it would not be possible to go back to England, I thought that this unexpected stay in Lisbon could be used to honor my city and enjoy it leisurely, calmly, giving me the space to figure out what I was going to do with my life from then on. Little did I know that, during my walks through its streets, Lisbon would reveal more to me than just a confirmation of the passion I have for it.

I spent a couple of months wandering around Lisbon, on unhurried and plan-free days, just enjoying. In my leisurely pace through a city that had known me in a rush for so many years, I chose to observe its streets as if I had never seen them before. One day at Rossio, I stopped right in front of the National Theater D. Maria II. How many times had I been there? Countless. Yet, I am sure that, on that day, it was the first time I truly looked at its facade. It has been there since 1846, but only at that moment did the pillars, windows, and beautiful statues guarding the main entrance start to exist for my eyes.

I also realized that, unlike London, a huge and impersonal city where I felt the weight of loneliness, it was not hard to find old friends in Lisbon. It happened more than once, during these aimless walks, to encounter a familiar face that sat, by chance, in the empty chair next to me on the subway. Taking advantage of the coincidence, we decided to get off at the same station to walk to one of the terraces on Rua Cor de Rosa in Cais do Sodré and talk about life, arrivals, departures, and plans for the future. On the way, we stopped suddenly, amazed by street artists playing on Rua Augusta, becoming aware of where we were: one of the most beautiful streets in the world, connecting the city center to the Tagus River, ending in an impressive Triumphal Arch, opening to Terreiro do Paço, where the city surrenders to the river.

These were very good months, during which I confirmed, in my slow rhythm, my love for Lisbon also in familiar places like Chiado, which welcomed me during my academic years, where hipster shops and gourmet restaurants bloom wherever there is a small space. Or the old Bairro Alto, guardian of some of the unspoken secrets of my adolescence and, alongside Fado houses and typical restaurants, hosts art galleries, second-hand bookshops, artists’ studios, tattoo shops, bars, and nightclubs.

Lisbon is the place where I was born, where I grew up, and where I began to be the person I am today. It has been the witness of the best and worst life has offered me. It was so good to feel welcomed by it during those months, giving me time for it to reveal to me that my future, at least the immediate future, would not be here. During my walks, Lisbon showed me that it was succumbing to gentrification, unrestrained haste, mass tourism, and loss of character. Lisbon was in a hurry to enjoy the prominence that international eyes had suddenly given it, and a part of it got carried away, enchanted, without thinking about the consequences. And I, who was on the exact opposite movement, in search of a life lived leisurely, more authentically and close to nature, I realized that in order to keep my love for my city, I had to step away.

Deciding that it was not in Lisbon that I would live, made it an even more beautiful and sunny city, confirming my unconditional love for it. Sitting quietly by the Tagus River, eating an artisanal ice cream near the Cais das Colunas, I bid farewell on the eve of moving to Alentejo, where I currently live and from where I depart and return from my travels and adventures around the world. This decision reinforced the fascination and pride I have for my hometown, in which I still trust that someday it may tell me that the time has come to welcome me back entirely.

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The Hidden Spiritual Gem of Catalonia

Catedral de Manresa

What’s so special about Manresa, an industrial city in central Catalonia, Spain? Why should I go there? Little did I know that, on that morning, as I resisted getting on the bus that would take me there, I was about to change my entire perception about faith.

At first glance, it seemed that apart from the famous Santa Maria de la Seu Basilica and St. Ignacio de Loyola’s cave, there was little else to see in Manresa. My mind kept telling me that it wasn’t worth the visit. Staying a few more days in Montserrat to explore it more deeply felt like a better option. But despite the noise in my head, something unexplainable kept pushing me there.

Upon arriving, I was greeted by cloudy and uncomfortably hot weather. It didn’t help with my grumpiness. I went up and down the street but couldn’t find the restaurant that had promised me the best vegetarian paella. Then I decided to look up instead of down, and there it was: on the first floor of a building, the door opened to a beautiful white dining room. When the paella arrived, accompanied by the welcoming smile of the chef, I realized I was putting too much effort into maintaining my bad mood. Everything was delicious and done with so much dedication. Even if it was only to honor the Chef’s work, I needed to surrender to what was and summon a more relaxed state of mind.

And there it was, my first wise decision of the day: to change my mood. As is often the case, reality started to change accordingly. From then on, I started to realise that Manresa was probably the right place to be at that exact moment of my life. I just needed to be willing to give it a chance. Why?

Enter Jordi Piñero, a historian and investigator whose work is focused on the holistic aspects of Manresa’s historical monuments. He invited me to visit the Cathedral as he started explaining how it was carefully built in a very special place: a strong telluric current – a geomagnetic movement generated by Earth’s magnetic field, flowing parallel to its surface. Or, from another perspective, an energy field with the power to influence our well-being. My skeptical brain looked at a gothic Catholic church from the 16th century and wondered if this was not just a coincidence. Back in those days, people didn’t have our knowledge and surely they didn’t have the proper modern scientific gadgets to measure all these currents and geomagnetic movements.

There was more inside. As I followed him in, Jordi explained that the cross-shaped structure of the building represents a human figure with open arms. Along its centre line, it is possible to observe seven circles. “The 7 chakras,” Jordi said. I asked him how did our ancestors know? How did such a conservative institution as the Catholic church allow it? He just shrugged and explained that chakras have many names. “They represent human potential for spiritual evolution. It is a universal concept.”

The theory “everything is connected” makes perfect sense here. It now seems obvious to find the relationship between concepts of different religions and beliefs in one single monument built more than five centuries ago. I could have stayed there all afternoon listening to Jordi. My long quest to understand faith, the divine, and the meaning of human life was anxious to learn more. But there was more waiting for me, although I wasn’t aware of it yet.

I walked to the Cave of Saint Ignatius, a pilgrimage site where it is said that the Saint spent several months meditating and writing his famous Spiritual Exercises book. St Ignatius arrived there after a long walk of 2000 km from Loyola in the Basque Country, determined to discover, understand, and consolidate his connection with Jesus.

A Jesuit priest opened the cave door and invited me in. The priest briefly narrated the Saint’s life story, ending with a summary of Loyola’s spiritual findings: “To discover the light, one needs to conquer the ego. In order to conquer the ego, one has to surrender.” Surrendering has always been a challenge for me, a control freak. Just the sound of the word made my body retract. But a little tingle in the tip of my fingers awoke a kind of familiar yet new pleasant sensation.

As if he knew what was going on inside of me, from this moment the priest changed his speech from a simple Catholic point of view to the same holistic and integrative theories shared by Jordi earlier in the Cathedral. My host kept explaining that apart from whatever our beliefs are, during the course of our lives, between our 40s and 50s we start experiencing an urge to question, to explore, to transform (check!, I’m exactly there). We can embrace it and become explorers of our inner selves or ignore it and move on to the next phase of our lives. The Jesuits – inspired by Saint Ignatius’ experience – believe that we all should dive deep into this transformational opportunity, offering their expertise to guide anyone who feels the call to embrace the process. “That is the purpose of this Center,” he told me as the elevator door opened to the top floor.

There, he invited me into a large beautiful wooden room with a skylight in the middle illuminating an empty bowl resting directly below it. “We don’t care if you are a Buddhist or a Muslim or a non-believer. As long as you enter this meditation room with your inner bowl empty, if you silence your ego, if you surrender, you can experience the light filling your space. This is what Saint Ignatius realized on the 24th of March 1522, the day he became enlightened.” The moment the priest mentioned the date, the tingling sensation exploded through my whole body.

Throughout the day, I had been learning all these theories as if they were answers to my inner doubts about faith and religion. I was starting to understand that maybe we don’t need this or that symbolism to ignite our spirituality. It was becoming clear that it is not Christianity or Hinduism or Islam or New Age theories that hold the ultimate truth to transcendence. I was realizing that as long as I was determined to follow the path of self-discovery, I could become a better human being. By doing that, I would be fulfilling my share of the greater good of humankind.

As these thoughts were running through my mind, the priest mentioned that special date. A date so familiar and so important to me. It was as if that little detail had the power to hook all that I had heard so far and anchor it deep inside myself. On the same day, March 24th, but 450 years apart, I was born. Saint Ignatius solved the mystery of existence on the same day I arrived in this world, 5 centuries after.

At any other moment, I would only find it a funny coincidence and move on. But this day had become so full of revelations and epiphanies that I decided to accept it as a sign.

So, I – a skeptic, a woman of poor faith, an explorer of mysticism always looking for its flaws – I surrendered. I surrendered to that day and all it had offered me, I surrendered to my stubbornness and bad mood, I even momentarily surrendered to my ego.

What’s so special about Manresa? Now I know: It is the place where after so many years scattered, wandering around, I made peace with my faith. My God, what a long way I have ahead of me now!